Eternity and decay (Part 3)

Vacant apartments remind me of exploring abandoned farmhouses in West Texas as a kid — the fragments of their ruin tell a story. The same is true ruins of a civilization, the same is true of the human life. While some ruins tell a story that wants to be remembered, and some ruins tell stories that few will ever know. Both tell the story of time.

In the middle of last week, I find myself in a conversation with some guys about time, decay, and the human condition. It began with one man’s story about his father, who in his final hours, expressed regret for how absent he was throughout his son’s life. The son kept saying, “I got it wrong,” almost as if his father was saying it through him.

Life looks different when time is short. If we who have more time see our life through the lens of those that do not, how should we live?

The son’s encouragement was this: When we are in our final hours, on the proverbial airplane to the next life, there should be no loose change in our pockets.

We are not from this world to begin with, he said, but we were placed here for a time. Over the course of our life, we accumulate stuff like foreign currency when we travel, but its of no value when its time to go back home. On our way out, we ought to be able to say that not a penny was spared.

This was living in light of eternity. More than a platitude, it was an identity statement: Foreigner, Traveler, Visitor, Citizen of another country.

Living on earth, with heaven in mind, has always felt like escapism to me. But this time it slipped through the radar. When your identity is found outside of the current circumstances — the hustle, the anxiety, the worldly expectations — you are free to be present in a way that was not possible before. In addition to an identity, it provides a sense of belonging. It also provides a vocation.

An eternal identity, an eternal sense of belonging, and an eternal vocation allow you to face the world, perhaps even suffering, in a new way.

This worldview crashed into the ache of time and decay that had been following me like a black dog. Somehow time and decay began to reconcile with eternity. Not with escapist idealism, but in the most present and true way possible. But right now, as far as my understanding goes, it just exists in latent space.